Heavens Treasure

Part of my coping was trough my grandsons Jerimie 12 years old at the time and Brandon 7 years old. They stayed overnight or on week-ends. We would sit and talk about many things. Life, school, future, how I met Carol and why I waited until I was 38 to marry and settle down. I answered their questions the best that I could. We would talk for hours about Carol, how we met, when I asked her to marry me and we would laugh when each of us would tell about funny things that she did or would say. Talking about Carol with the boys was good at helping with my grieving and planning. The boys helped me greatly without them realizing what they were doing. Later talking to Jerimie when he was 14 is when he realized he had been helping and still is to this day. He spends almost every week-end with me and we always have fun and enjoy each others company. Jerimie is almost 16 now and Brandon just turned 10.   The best cure is to talk to family members about the good times and the things that would make us laugh. The following is something that I'll remember for the rest of my life. I call it,                          "From The Mouths Of Children."   Just after Christmas 1997 at my house, Jerimie gave me a pin on button that he had gotten from Church and said, Grandpa I want you to have this for Grandma, you can put it on the drapes above Grandma's Nativity Figurines. I said, thank you and that I would love too, and gave him a hug, then pinned it on the drapes where he suggested.    About two days later I was over at their house visiting with my son Victor, his wife Melissa, my Grandaughter Jessica and the boys. Shortly after I got there Brandon age 7 then asked me if I would like to have the pin on button that he had gotten at Church. I said, no thank you, you keep it because Jerimie already gave me his, but thank you for asking. What Brandon said next floored me. he said, I know, I'll give it to a friend. I told him  that was very thoughtful and then asked who his friend was that he was going to give it too. He answered back very seriously, She's in Gold Valley. Gold Valley is where we took Carol's ashes in August. Well, after he said that I almost lost control. He gave the button to me which was about 3 inches in diameter and has an Angel blowing a horn and the words, "Jesus Is The Reason For The Season," for me to put in a chest for things to add to the Box Of Memories that is buried in Gold Valley. We dig it up every year and add notes, cards, letters, small gifts, and anything else that Carol would like. The Memory Box is heavy steel, plated and painted and sealed from any water leakage. It is in a grove of Large old Cedar trees, which I named, The Cedar Trees Of Memory."  When it is reburied a person not knowing would walk right by it and not notice that the ground had been disturbed. We carefully move brush and small limbs and cover it so that you couldn't tell something is buried there.    Carol's favorite wild animal is the Tiger and she would always marvel at their beauty. I really never paid that much attention to them until after Carol left. Now the Tiger is my favorite animal and I painted tire covers for our Jeeps with the Tiger on them.     Next is a story a friend of my mothers gave her to give to me.                                   The Elephant In The Room           There's an Elephant in the room.           It is large and squatting, so it is hard to get around it.           Yet we squeeze by with, "How are you" and' "I'm fine"...           And a thousand other forms of trivial chatter.           We talk about the weather.           We talk about work. We talk about everything else           Except the Elephant in the room.           There's an Elephant in the room.           We all know it's there.           We are thinking about the Elephant, as we talk together.           It is constantly on our minds.           For, you see, it is a very big Elephant.           It has hurt us all.           But we do not talk about the Elephant in the room.           Oh, please say her name.           Oh, please say "Carol," again.           Oh, please, let's talk about the Elephant in the room.           For, if we talk about her death,           Perhaps we can talk about her life.           Can I say "Carol" to you and not have you look away?           For, if I cannot, then you are leaving me           Alone... in a room...           With an Elephant.                                                                                       ~Terry Kettering

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This page was last updated on: March 7, 2006